Deep In Thought
by bankka
Summary: Ever wanted to get inside Dean's head? Sam's on the job and Dean gets bored. Here's your chance. :P


**+ Deep In Thought**

* * *

Jerk. Look at him groan in frustration, like he's such a know-it-all. What a smart-ass. I'm the older one. I'm the one in charge. But no, he has to step up and act like he's the bigger man.

"_Dean, shut up. I'll be the one to question her. You stay here and order tea and a cookie or something"._

Tea and cookies? Tea and cookies my ass. What do I look like, Queen Victoria's piano teacher? And explain again - why can't I be the one to interrogate the hot waitress?

"_Because you'll just end up flirting with her. Like always" _

Yeah, so?

"_She just saw something rip her best friend into shreds. I don't think she needs that right now. For once, Dean, just get serious."_

Okay, okay, jeez. The poor guy's got rock salt stuck up his ass. Pff. Whatever. Go on, get it over with. Just because he's been to college he thinks he knows better? Lame. I could've gone to college. I just didn't feel like it at the time. I wonder where I could've gone. Stanford? Please. Stanford's for shaggy-haired sissies who wanna be lawyers and carry their nerdy Alienware laptops wherever they go. Maybe NYU? Ahh, those urban chicks are kinky. Or no – Miami. The beach plus the sun equals half naked blondes with tight bikinis running around. And smoothies. Where's the menu? I'm hungry.

* * *

Where is Sam? Oh, found you. Yeah, there he is. Having fun with the hot brunette waitress, are you? You flirt too much, Dean. Don't stare at the poor woman's ass, Dean. Easy on the pick-up lines, Dean, you might kill her. Yeah, yeah, I see you, Sammy. Don't act so innocent – get your eyes off her boobs.

Sick, this cookie's too flaky. What else is there to eat here? There we go, the cakes look pretty good. Wait, what's a pavlova? 'Milles-Filles'…huh? Garash cake – what's all this crap? Battenberg cake, simnel cake, black forest cake...gooey butter cake. Haha, _gooey_. I like this one. Well, hello you, there you are with my tea. Woah, easy with the cleavage, sweetheart.

"_Will that be all, sir?"_

Yeah, that will be all, you fox. You can 'sir' me anytime if you just let me – SON OF A BITCH! Stupid thing's frigging hot!! Ow, bitch, bitch, my tongue…ow…

* * *

Blah blah blah...okay, enough with the consoling already, bro. Oh please, not the old look-into-her-eyes-hand-her-another-tissue trick. You're making me sick. Just get her number and let's go. My poor baby's roasting out in the heat. Oh my god, it's like probably like 120 degrees out and I forgot the car window shades. Damn it. Sam, hurry up! Yeah you, let's get moving! No? Wha -- come _on_, dude. Fine, I'll wait in the car. I said I'LL WAIT IN THE CAR. Man, are you deaf?? Never mind. Just pick up the pace. This café's annoying the frigging hell out of me. And their demonic teas and stupid cakes with their stupid flowery ancient renaissance names. I'm starving…I wanna go to Chilli's. Do they even have a Chilli's here in Baton Rouge? They better – I'm gonna order me a big, fat hamburger and a juicy steak with fries on the side. And a liter of chocolate milkshake while Sammy can just stare at me from the inside of the car and whine his ass off like a sissy mutt.

Woah, that chick just winked at me. Sweet, she's coming this way – is she a waitress? Nah dude – leather boots and a mini skirt in this tight-ass aristo-crap hole? Nice. Quick, Dean, wipe that lame smirk off your face and play it cool. Wait, no, she just walked past me. Wait...what? Aw man. The dude with the fugly plaid trousers? It's the 21st century, man. No way, chick's lacking taste. Sick. And seriously, untuck your polo shirt. This isn't high school – you're not in the chess club anymore. Man, why doesn't she take him out shopping? With her obvious sense of style she can at least make her boyfriend seem like he's in her league. Or maybe she doesn't have a problem with the outfit. Maybe she was the one who picked it out for him. Do they even _allow _those things to be sold here? Maybe they have them in Macy's or something.

"_Hey man, sorry for keeping you waiting."_

Can we go to Macy's?

"_What?"_

Or Chilli's.

"_Dean." _

Or at least take me to NYU. Don't you have connections or something, college boy? Hey, don't touch my cookie.

"_Okay, I don't know what they spiked your cookie with, but whatever. Listen, I've got a lead. I think it's another werewolf." _

Oh, of course you'd like that, wouldn't you?  
_  
"Bite me."_

Jerk.

* * *

_**+ A one-shot thing - hoped you guys enjoyed it. I was bored, and my mind started to go places. :P **_


End file.
